Shame

Current research has discovered the neurobiological responses to experiences in early childhood that can lead to core shame. This is very similar to trauma, creating an autonomic nervous system response in the body such as fight, flight or freeze.

My experience in child development has painted a picture of what that may have looked like for you. Early attachment experiences that are not optimal can lead to feelings of shame that become internalized as “I am bad.” This goes beyond basic feelings of guilt, remorse, embarrassment, humiliation, etc. and becomes an overarching sense of self that can never feel “good-enough.”

My work with mothers and my doctoral dissertation has opened my eyes to this common experience of never being able to get it right. Shame researcher, Brene’ Brown has brought this experience into awareness for many people and has given language to what is non-verbal and unconscious.

As this chronic sense of shame develops over time, you lose your authentic self, and you create what psychiatrist Donald Winnicot called a “false self.” Authenticity Architects is based on the model I created and wrote about in my book Shame-Informed Therapy. Shame-Informed Therapy helps you excavate the parts of yourself you may have hidden in order to please others. Giving yourself permission to be you again is the first step.